The 7 point University of Oregon Faculty Member Satisifaction Quiz.

Each question has a different weight as some are more important then others.

In conventional format (Likert Scale) each question progresses from most dissatisfied to least dissatisfied (since no one is really satisfied these days).

The middle answer is mostly neutral . The first two answers produce negative scores. The last 2 answers produce positive scores.

1. We will define your salary as a "Living Wage" in the context of Living in Oregon. We will not define salary as what you think it should be in any equity context. We already know you are screwed there. So, answer this statement: My annual salary at the UO (including any summer salary, overload, stipends,etc) in the context of a living wage is:
Barely enough to make ends meet; seriously; I am not kidding
Adequate - I have a few dollars of beer money available each month.
Reasonable within the Eugene Context; I can afford a house and feed my kids and still drink beer
Quite good actually with respect to my real expenses; I have enough excess to go to Hawaii every summer and drink beer
Excellent; I have gamed the system here and can afford a house, beer, a vacation, and can still save 20% of my income so that I can retire as early as possible from this wretched academic environment.

2. Quality of life is said to be high in Eugene Oregon. Beaches and mountains exist. Beer exists. The climate is mostly okay. The summers are among the best on the planet. In terms of your happiness associated with the geography/climate of this region:
Screw this place; its always raining
I don't really like recreation or scenery and it could be more sunny; In addition, Eugene could be a more functional place.
Ho-Hum - I don't notice my environment
I like it here; its one of the reasons I stay at the UO; quality of life is important to me
I am actually quite happy living in this part of the World

3. Its likely that the most important need of a faculty member is an environment that supports their scholarship/research. This support can occur through a) available and good students, b) departmental facilities, c) central facilities (computing,network, etc), d) direct grant support, e) release time for research. Integrating over these conditions:
Are you kiddin' me - the UO is not a research University
I find it very difficult to get adequate research support in the previously mentioned forms and am greatly rate limited because I am here
Research support is difficult but I am still able to get much of my research done
I am reasonably well supported here and do not need to totally rely on external grant support
Dude, I know Phil Knight

4. Life at a University offers the opportunity to wear many different hats (which I think is a really stupid metaphor, but I digress). Professional development opportunities exist at any large University (committee service, etc) and engagement with those opportunities can be refreshing and educational (and it can be uber-frustrating). In terms of professional development opportunities, the UO offers:
Nothing of interest to me.
Limited opportunities as it seems the same favorite people are always chosen and I remain invisible
Enough opportunities so that I can choose whether or not to avail them
Good opportunity and I frequently take advantage of this
A very large range of opportunities that allows you to understand the various inner workings of the UO while also contributing valuable service to its, "Mission"

5. All of us have to teach (unless we know Phil Knight). Teaching is sometimes great and sometimes sucks. Variety of teaching is important in overall teaching happiness as is mixing levels between LD, UD and graduates. Teaching in the Honors College or other programs (like ENVS) is also available. Which view of your teaching best sums up your UO experience:
Teaching sucks; no one respects my teaching ability; I keep getting assigned to the same crap courses. It's all crap.
I wish I had more control over my teaching assignments
Whatever, I am here to do research
I have reasonable control over what I teach and am genuinely satisfied
Overall, teaching at the UO has been a very rewarding experience for me

6. One's personal office/lab space is an important component of overall satisfaction. Afterall, your living in that space for about 40% of your life. Please rate the perception of your office/lab/student space:
I would be better off if I just pitched a tent
My space mostly sucks but I have to live in it.
This question is not interesting
My space is better than the average working conditions at the UO
My space is very good. I even have beer there

7. This final question has to do with your department culture and your relation to your departmental colleagues, because, well you have one. Which best summarizes your view of your department:
My department consistently fails to be sensible and my faculty colleagues also put self-interest above the "good of the department". My dept has no academic integrity
My department has too much internal politics
My department is pretty generic and mostly benign
My department does have a sense of community and is quite collegial and supportive
I am actually proud to be a member of my department since it has a good record of academic rigor and accomplishments (note: the term academic rigor is used here to disqualify the athletic department).